HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DOG
(Excerpts from The Intelligence of Dogs )

"A puppy should remain with its litter mates for around 7 weeks. During this period, it develops its identity as a dog." "Over the next 5 weeks, if the dog is given a lot of exposure and interaction with humans, it will come to accept human beings as members of its pack." p. 210

1. Touching -- not simple stroking, but a systematic touching of the dog's whole body -- mimics the pattern of licking and touching that a mother dog applies -- helps establish an emotional bond, but is also an expression of dominance and control. Daily - 30 sec to 1 min. Grooming is an OK alternative. Talk to the dog, using its name frequently. p. 211
2. Manipulation and restraint : Speak gently to the dog, hold its muzzle closed for a few seconds, then push the dog over on its side -- hold it there for the better part of a minute. It should elevate its legs -- if not, lift them or roll the dog on its back. Look directly in the dog's eyes as you do this. After the dog turns its head away, pet it and fuss lightly with it to get its tail wagging. p. 212
3. Enforcing the Pack Hierarchy : The leader gets first choice at any food, sleeps anywhere it likes, goes first through any opening or into new territory, and can demand attention any time it wants it. You must exert the prerogatives of the pack leader (or be dominated by your dog). p. 212
4. Attention and Compliance Exercises: Use the dog's name frequently in the situations above so you can get the dog's attention by calling its name. Teach your pup to sit by waving food in front of its face, followed by its name and "Sit." Hold the food above and just behind its head. Give food and praise; repeat with and without food; practice daily. Never give the dog anything free. Before feeding or petting, make it sit. The dog must feel that you are always in control. Never ask the dog to do something unless you are sure that it will actually perform the required action. You or someone else should be in a position to enforce the command.p 213
5. Instincts : Beagles, cocker spaniels and golden retrievers are highly sociable and tolerate or enjoy crowds. Many Afghan hounds, Chihuahuas and chow chows may get irritable or fearful around lots of strangers. Learn the triggers for genetically programmed behaviors like hunting (visual or scent), herding (people or animals milling around), or guarding (noises). p. 217
6. Enrichment Program : Leave the pup alone as little as possible. Different and interesting experiences and challenges actually increase the dog's intelligence and problem solving abilities. Compared to litter mates, dogs reared with lots of toys, complex architecture, and other sources of stimulation have larger and heavier brains, thicker cerebral cortexes, higher concentrations of chemicals associated with transmission of information, and increased numbers of neural connections. p. 224
7. Talk to Your Dog : Repeat simple phrases before activities like "Let's go for a walk." or "Upstairs" or "Let's go to the kitchen." Catch the dog doing something you like and talk about it. Saying "Rover, Sit." as he begins to sit, followed by praise, can teach commands more effectively than active training. p. 226

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR WIFE
(Excerpts from Tender Warrior)

[Ed: Mensans never read just one book at a time. That often causes us to compare and contrast our books. A training manual for the Promise Keepers, this book does not put down women, but tries to build up men. The men are family men, not macho bar buddies. But, I'm not sure the rapport exists very often that Weber describes under "Friends."]

1. KING : The king looks ahead, watches over, provides order, mercy and justice. He is authority. He is leader. p. 40
2. Warrior : The warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards. There is a difference between a warrior and a brute. A warrior is a protector -- whether he's stepping on bugs or checking out sounds that go bump in the night -- whether he's confronting a habitually abusive Little League coach or shining a flashlight into a spooky basement -- whether he is shoveling snow or helping women and children into the last boat on the Titanic -- men stand tallest when they are protecting and defending. p.41
3. Mentor : The mentor knows. He wants others to know. He models, explains, trains. A man is supposed to know things. Like how a car runs, or the inner workings of a hair dryer, or the capital of Nepal, Or how many legs are on a spider, or how many miles to the next rest stop, or when the weather will turn. It's up to him to maintain a working knowledge of why electricity flows, dogs bark, birds migrate, hamsters die, trees lose their leaves, dads lose their hair, and girls down the street "act weird." p. 42
4. Friends : The heart of a friend is a loving heart, a care-giving heart. Passionate, yes. But more. Compassionate. p.43

Men also need friends they can communicate with (a.) at a fact level, sharing what they know. (b.) at an opinion level, sharing what they think. (c.) at an emotional level, actually sharing who they are.
Men need friends who will hold them accountable to their commitments and responsibilities when necessary. p. 197
5. Companion : (The wife) is a companion, a friend. A woman will do anything to fight isolation, to combat separation, to overcome aloneness. She needs attention. p. 109

"Men tend to be tough and strong. Women tend to be tender and gentle. A man tends toward logic and linear thinking. A woman tends toward emotion and verbal communication. A man tends to be a risk taker, ready to "go for it." A woman generally prefers security and order. A man tends toward relational insensitivity, a woman toward sensitivity. A man looks toward the long haul. A woman is concerned about here and now. A man tends to be more skeptical and suspicious. (It's the protector in him.) A woman tends to be more believing and trusting. (It's the nurturer in her.) p.114
[Ed: In a long section on the differences between men and women, Weber quotes Dr. Joyce Brothers as saying a woman has 20% fewer blood cells than men, which makes her tire more easily and be more prone to faint. p. 106. According to the Stewart Blood Center men average 40 and women average 38 on the density screening test for donors. This is a 5% difference, the same as caused by smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. (Smokers have more because CO ties up more than 5%, making smokers short-winded.)]
6. The Lingo : Learn to speak Woman, to speak the language of demonstrative love in a way that your wife understands. All it takes is a little forethought, a willingness to stretch the edges of your comfort zone, and a rock hard commitment to stick with it. p. 125
7. Children are like arrows in the hand of a warrior, and blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. [Ed: No two-child families wanted.] p. 155. Good advice to "release the arrows" to live their own lives without parental interference. p. 158